Fighting the Shadow Warriors: A Marine in Vietnam, by Harry Knickerbocker

The Vietnam War was a war of attrition, a war of statistics, by which victory would be calculated by a tolerable loss ratio of more dead Viet Cong (VC) than Americans. It was highly political and egotistical for the old men sitting in boardrooms calculating and scheming. For the men who left their homes filled with propaganda and naivete, who inevitably found themselves sweating in foxholes and being shot at, this war tested their humanity and their sanity.

Spoiler-Free Plot

This is the memoir of a marine who survived his tour in Vietnam, from 1965 to 1966, with ‘The Walking Dead’—the 1st Battalion, 9th Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, which had an incredibly high casualty rate during the war.

Knickerbocker takes us on a tour with him through the jungles of Vietnam, watching friends being killed or injured by bullets and booby traps, losing hope, and questioning his own humanity. His story is formatted in chapters that recount snatches of his journey, featuring different friends, thoughts, and feelings. He adds a mature retrospect and reflection to these recounts, providing an additional dimension to his 19-year-old internal monologue. Knickerbocker’s thoughts throughout these chapters rapidly deteriorate from optimistic youth to a worn-down man who has seen things no one of any age should have to experience.

May Take on Fighting the Shadow Warriors

This was a hugely thought-provoking read. My understanding of the Vietnam War before this read was that which was taught within the sterile confines of history class at school. This story took me into the jungle, where there is no opportunity for basic sanitation (hello, trench foot, and jungle rot *gags quietly*) and every chance of being maimed or dying, or watching friends being maimed or die. (My fingernails didn’t make it through this without some anxious nibbling.) After finishing this read, I felt like I had achieved something important by getting an insight into the war from the perspective of someone who had actually fought it. Being part of a Marine unit is an incredibly high-stress, low-control role to play in a global conflict. I developed a strong sense of empathy for Knickerbocker and his brothers-in-arms, especially when they returned home, and people, who would never know what it is to be shot at or have to decide to shoot at someone else, condemn them as “baby killers” and social pariahs for doing their duty.

Knickerbocker’s first-person recounting of his villain arc was particularly difficult for the reader to witness. Knickerbocker arrived in Vietnam as a squeaky-clean 19-year-old, fresh out of marine training after spending most of his youth believing that marines were the epitome of heroism. But Vietnam saw him questioning if he was, in fact, a monster instead.

The situation seemed despairingly rigged against Knickerbocker, and every other American sent over to aid the conflict. The fact of the matter seemed to be that, much like the Nazis invaded their own German home first, the VC had taken over their own country–holding their citizens hostage. And, of course, civilians were afraid of the propaganda and guns. The average person just trying to get on with their life is seldom fussed by whether megalomaniacal autocratic generals or communists are ruling the country. As far as the average person is concerned in any conflict, it doesn’t matter who the “hero” and the “bad guy” are when both of them are using them as cannon fodder and burning down their homes. The Americans had no insight into what it would be like in Vietnam and struggled to differentiate civilians from the VC. The villagers whose huts he and his unit burned down saw him and his team as foreign beasts. The Marines didn’t have any realistic opportunities to actually save any of these villagers from the VC, and they never got a chance to feel like American heroes.

Every war seems to bring out the monsters who are dressed up as men. These creatures show their true colors during wartime–enjoying the violence, the killing, and most of all, the power over their enemies and the power they hold over the men they command. Alex Crawford was everything I was expecting from an army bully, and I wasn’t upset when his time in the story came to an unpleasant but karmically satisfying end. It felt like a little salute from Knickerbocker to every victim of an Alex Crawford to include this chapter. Sometimes, the jerks really do get what’s coming to them.

If for no other reason than global and historical perspective, I rate this a Must Read. It’s incredibly important that we keep these stories alive so that history may never repeat itself and survivors of war never have to feel alone.

Rating and Content Warnings

As with all war stories, this one contains no shortage of depictions of violence, death, gore, adult themes, and strong language. Reader discretion is advised; this is an adult-only read.

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