In this exclusive interview, we sit down with the author of “Cooling the Flame: Guiding Kids Through Anger” to explore the inspiration, challenges, and key messages behind this insightful parenting guide. Delve into the author’s personal experiences, research process, and effective strategies for managing children’s anger, as well as valuable advice for parents navigating their own emotions.
Join us as we uncover the heartfelt journey of creating a guiding light for families seeking to nurture their children through emotional growth.
But First, Who is Laura Urgell?
Laura Urgell is a versatile professional, expertly balancing multiple roles like a masterful juggler in a circus act. By day, she assumes the position of a Technical Recruiter and Business Owner, aligning skilled individuals with ideal career opportunities. In her spare moments, Laura displays her talent as a freelance writer, skillfully crafting words into engaging narratives.
But that’s not all; this modern-day superhero dons the hat of a loving mom, akin to a CEO overseeing a tiny, occasionally chaotic yet incredibly endearing startup – her kids. Beyond her family commitments, Laura is a board member for a nongovernmental organization dedicated to supporting local law enforcement, showcasing her commitment to noble causes.
Laura Urgell was born and raised in Buenos Aires, Argentina. When she was a little girl, her parents settled in California. After completing her master’s degree, Laura decided to move back to Argentina and go back to her hereditary roots. However, after ten years, a husband, and two kiddos (her endless sources of inspiration and struggles, lol), they decided to make Roanoke, Texas, their home (it’s near Dallas). There, she resides with her husband, her two children, and two not-so-small dogs that believe they are lapdogs, despite one of them tipping the scales at a whopping 90 pounds.
Laura kicked off her academic escapades with a scholarship-powered sprint to snag an associate’s degree. Then, it was a wild journey through the jungle of Criminal Justice, where she emerged with both a bachelor’s and a master’s degree. But wait, there’s more! Laura polished her legal prowess with a paralegal certificate, proving that she can decode legal jargon like a pro. And just for kicks, she nabbed not one but two small business certificates from Wesleyan because why settle for one when you can have double the fun? Now, armed with knowledge and a penchant for witty prose, she’s ready to conquer the literary world!
Amidst her roles in wrangling words, children, and energetic canines, Laura Urgell’s passion for life and magnetic personality radiate through every line of her writing. Prepare to be captivated, informed, and perhaps even inspired to embark on a rollercoaster adventure or two after delving into her work.
Laura Urgell’s Books:
- What inspired you to write “Cooling the Flame: Guiding Kids Through Anger”?
Watching my own daughter struggle with emotional outbursts, I couldn’t help but be reminded of my own tumultuous youth, where I often let my temper get the better of me. That personal experience, coupled with a deep desire to see my child succeed, was the driving force behind my decision to write “Cooling the Flame.”
I wanted to provide other parents like me with the tools and strategies to help their children in a way that was comical and relatable. “Cooling the Flame” is a labor of love. I believe that behind every child that is struggling with their emotions is a parent or caregiver trying to help them (and possibly tearing their hair out) while not knowing what to do. I hope my book brings them comfort, a laugh or two and some practical tips to help them in their everyday life.
- What is the core message you want parents to take away from your book?
Embrace the Chaos: Your children are not a lost cause; they are just trying to figure out who they are. Know that every tantrum, phase or scream is part of their journey. It does not make you a bad parent.
- In “Cooling the Flame,” you discuss managing anger in children. What do you believe is the most common misconception parents have about children’s anger?
There is a misconception that a child’s angry outbursts and tantrums are because the parent is not doing something right. That’s not quite the case. Fits and displays of anger are a normal part of child development –Kids are figuring out coping mechanisms, they have big emotions in a little body, it’s hard to process for them and it is NOT a reflection of bad parenting.
- Can you share a personal experience that particularly influenced a chapter or section of the book?
“Cooling the Flame,” was very much influenced by my own lived experiences as a parent. You see, my daughter is practically a mini-me – when I witness her fiery outbursts, it’s like looking in a mirror and seeing my younger self. The way she reacts to frustration or when her cousins (my brother’s boys) start to tease her? It’s a total flashback to my childhood, being the only girl with two older brothers who loved to push my buttons. Recognizing those parallels was a real wake-up call for me. I knew I had to find constructive ways to help my daughter navigate those intense emotions, rather than letting her fall into the same patterns I did growing up. And in doing so, I realized there was a knowledge gap that needed to be filled – so many other parents are likely going through similar struggles with their little ones. That’s what inspired me to share the strategies, tools, and insights. My hope is that “Cooling the Flame” can be a guiding light for families looking to empower their children to transform their anger into a positive force.
- How did you research or gather insights for the developmental stages of anger management in children, as discussed in your book?
I looked for articles that addressed parenting and anger, as well as books made for children and parents alike. Once I ingested all the information, I took what I found most realistic and practical and started practicing on my own and seeing what worked. I kept all my notes and experiments together and then, voilà! My book was in the works.
- What was the most challenging part of writing this book, and how did you overcome it?
The most challenging part was organizing it in a way that made sense and didn’t sound authoritative. I had read many articles, journals, books, etc., but I wanted to make sure that the information I was relaying was helpful and not smug. Really more of one parent talking with another parent as friends and comrades.
- Are there any exercises or practices from the book that you personally find most effective or that you use regularly?
Yes, absolutely! Asking my child questions that allow her to reason and get out of her headspace helps, although it takes a minute to get her there. Letting her stomp it out when appropriate, breathing and having her create something or draw something has been helpful. With my son who is younger, he is very receptive to questions and can snap out of his anger quicker.
- What advice would you give to parents who are struggling to manage their own emotions while helping their children with anger management?
Parents: Take a breath and make a little time for yourself, be kind to yourself. There is no parent manual or perfect parent. We learn as we go. Give yourself some grace and understand that this is just a moment in time and things will get better. Try different methods and see what works with you and your kid. Most importantly, eliminate negative, judgemental voices around – it’s just noise. You know what is best for you and your child.
- Finally, are you planning to write more books in the future, possibly focusing on other aspects of child development or parenting?
Yes, absolutely! I like to explore relationships and parenting, so I will most likely be writing along those lines in subsequent books.
Thank you, Laura Urgell, for your enlightening contribution. Your insight and expertise are truly appreciated. We look forward to more inspiring content from you in the future.
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