Choose You First By Michelle Bishop: A Powerful Memoir of Self-Love

Have you ever felt like you’re constantly overlooking yourself to put others first? The roots of it might trace back to your childhood, but the power to change this lies in the present. 

Choose You First by Michelle Bishop is the heartfelt nudge I needed to start prioritizing my own well-being—and it might just be the push you need too.

About the book: Choose You First

Surviving a childhood bereft of motherly love and the security offered by a comforting family leaves you mentally changed, often forever. Michelle Bishop had once been there, so she aims to help readers learn the profound lesson of self-love.

As a child, Michelle was unwanted—born to a mother struggling with mental health issues and a father who tried, single-handedly, to fill the void left by her mother. Frequently the target of her mother’s anger, Michelle endured deep scars, both physically and emotionally, that left her shattered.

Her troubled childhood led to destructive patterns in her behavior, which eventually took a toll on her career, relationships, and physical health. But what does it truly take to heal from a lifetime of complex trauma?

In her heartfelt memoir, Choose You First, Michelle Bishop shares her unique life experiences, offering a powerful account of how she overcame her past to become the resilient woman she is today.

My Take on Choose You First

When I first started reading Choose You First, my initial thought was whether it would truly help me become the person I aspire to be, as the title suggested. It’s a valid question that I think many of us ask ourselves: does this self-help book actually deliver on its promises? I must admit, even though I’ve finished reading this book, it feels like it has only just begun to work on me—opening my mind to a new journey, one where I can truly strive to put myself first.

This book is roughly divided into two parts. The first is a raw account of the author’s life. 

While reading this, I could envision the adversities Bishop had to face as a child and then as an adult, her honest encounters vivid in my imagination. Her narrative style is engaging and almost feels like a conversation with your best friend. I haven’t read many memoirs, but reading this almost felt like I was there in the moment, learning and gradually healing with her. 

I usually never tear up while reading books. Either an author’s writing style must be extremely relatable to break through my hard exterior or their narrative must be heart-breaking to, well, break my heart. In this case, I think it was both. 

Because while reading Choose You First, I had to check my tears in a few instances. It’s rare for a book to evoke such a response from me, but Bishop’s vulnerability made it impossible for me to not feel connected to her journey of healing.

The second part provides readers with a comprehensive toolkit, including a mantra, to develop the habit of putting themselves first before others.

Bishop argues that prioritizing others is often seen as selfless, yet in reality, it is counterintuitive and, at the very least, unjust to ourselves. Because when we prioritize ourselves, it ultimately allows us to become the best version of ourselves—for our benefit as well as for the benefit of others.

Her journey from trauma to healing is both empowering and relatable, offering hope to anyone who has struggled with similar challenges. Bishop not only inspires you to take that next big step for yourself, but also gives you the tools to do so. Choose You First is a powerful memoir that reminded you of all the ways childhood insecurities can seep through into adulthood, and how to cope with this. 

I would highly recommend Choose You First to anyone who has experienced childhood trauma, struggles with self-love, or simply feels overwhelmed by the demands of others and life. 

Trigger Warnings

Mentions of child abuse, parental neglect, sexual assault could be triggering for some individuals.

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